Phone Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Willie Nelson, hold music.

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Hello, Susie, it's R

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Can you do anything else?'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

iPhone Senior

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

"I'll have my people call your people."

No Texting

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

A baby escapes from a pram

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

Ahab's Last Call.

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

"Thank you for calling customer service. Before we start, am I mispronouncing your name correctly?"

Sorry I missed your call – I was on the other line.

Do I have a time to take a quick survey?

Lost Dog

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"

"You're going to put me on hold? OK, I'm not going anywhere."

'I've got to hang up now, There's someone at the door.'