Phone Chatterer Pillows

'Sorry, Tarquin can't come to the phone right now...'

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"It is we."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Flotation Device on the Phone

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"I told you never to call me here."

'If that's the Police Station - we're not here!'

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."

Come to think of it...I could do with a showcase kitchen as it goes...

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

'Are you in here tonight?'

'I gotta go - we're discussing my compulsive communicatoins disorder.'

Little Known Scenes From History: Alexander Graham Bell in prison inventing the phone so he can make his one call after being arrested.

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'Good morning. I'd like to talk about double glazing issues.'

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."