Mobile Chatter Pillows

'Hi, mom, are you watching my home run trot?'

"Hello, it's me - I'm on the car!"

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Social Notworking

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Hot Line

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"We had him neutered,"

"This is the wine talking."

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

'My name is Kerry and I'm an email-aholic...'

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

'Take two asprin and call my wife in the morning.'

"You'll have to speak up. I'm very loud in here."

Oh, hey, the music's starting. Can I call you right back? Inside a Jack-in-the-box.