Internet Chatter Pillows

"I realise you're used to talking to me on the chat line, but would you mind not moving your fingers like you're typing everytime you say something."

'Carol, do you understand how your obsession with internet chat rooms might make Frank uncomfortable?... Carol??'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Silver Surfer.

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Catroom.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Hot Line

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"Don't retweet this, but..."

Hello, Patty!

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

'I didn't know there WAS an 'idle gossip dot com.''