Internet Chatter Prints

"I realise you're used to talking to me on the chat line, but would you mind not moving your fingers like you're typing everytime you say something."

'Carol, do you understand how your obsession with internet chat rooms might make Frank uncomfortable?... Carol??'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Silver Surfer.

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Catroom.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Social Notworking

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

'Are you in here tonight?'

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

"We don't communicate any more..."

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

Hello, Patty!

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

"Don't retweet this, but..."

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."