Chatty Chatter Pillows

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

Text Culture

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Do you come here often?'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

Social Notworking

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

Communication

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Social media messages

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

Online Dating

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"We had him neutered,"

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'