Chatty Caller Pillows

'No, you being from overseas wouldn't stop me going on a date with you...Whoa!! But that would! Quite a high voice for a guy.'

Text Culture

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'Do you come here often?'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Communication

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

'Are you in here tonight?'

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'It's for you.'

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

Online Dating

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

"This is the wine talking."

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'Take two asprin and call my wife in the morning.'

Coming out as a Conversationalist.

"You'll have to speak up. I'm very loud in here."

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

'He's great at communicating, but it's office gossip.'

"He can't stop digressing."