Telephone Chatter Pillows

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

'If I get a bad grade on a test, I wait until my mom is on the phone, then I show it to her.'

'Yes, it's me again.'

FYI, the amount of time you're supposed to wait before calling a woman you just met is three days. I think you must have it confused with the amount of time you can wait before picking up food off the floor. !!

This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

Hot Line

"Evil? No, no, haven't heard anything, definitely haven't seen any, so I can't really say anything more about it."

'She's not here right now. She's gone to her mother's for a nagging lesson.'

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

A senior moment.

Call centre musicians

'If that's the Police Station - we're not here!'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

'Are you in here tonight?'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Good morning. I'd like to talk about double glazing issues.'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

"This is the wine talking."

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'