Phone Chatters Pillows

'Take two asprin and call my wife in the morning.'

"Last year I gave up wine for lent. . . this year I'm just giving up lent!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Flotation Device on the Phone

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

'Are you in here tonight?'

'I gotta go - we're discussing my compulsive communicatoins disorder.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"

Hello? Sylvia? Oh, hey, girl... Can I call you right back? I was just puttin' my curlers in.

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

"This is the wine talking."

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

"You'll have to speak up. I'm very loud in here."

"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."

'Hey, hon, I'll be home a little late. I'm stuck traffic.'

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

'I'm in the bog!'

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'