Phone Call Humor Fan Pillows

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'Can you do anything else?'

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Ahab's Last Call.

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Do I have a time to take a quick survey?

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

'I'm on the train.'

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."