Phone Call Humor Fan Prints

Hello, Susie, it's R

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'Can you do anything else?'

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

iPhone Senior

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

Ahab's Last Call.

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

Do I have a time to take a quick survey?

Sorry I missed your call – I was on the other line.

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'

'I'm on the train.'