Phone Call Humor Prints

'I've got to hang up now, There's someone at the door.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Ahab's Last Call.

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

Lost Dog

"Thank you for calling customer service. Before we start, am I mispronouncing your name correctly?"

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

'I'm on the train.'

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

Policeman on phone to car in front: "Please pull over sir, you're moving your mobile phone illegally."

"Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. If at some point that's no longer true, we will disconnect."