Phone Call Humor Gifts

'I've got to hang up now, There's someone at the door.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Hello, Susie, it's R

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

Cold caller.

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

iPhone Senior

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Ahab's Last Call.

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

"Thank you for calling customer service. Before we start, am I mispronouncing your name correctly?"

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'I'm on the train.'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

Lost Dog

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

Willie Nelson, hold music.

"Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. If at some point that's no longer true, we will disconnect."