Phone Call Comic Gifts

"Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. If at some point that's no longer true, we will disconnect."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Hello, Susie, it's R

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

iPhone Senior

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Ahab's Last Call.

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

'I'm on the train.'

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'This call may be ignored for sanity assurance.'

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

Willie Nelson, hold music.

'If you've got a complaint, please press 1. If we can help you to find something to complain about, please press 2.'

Policeman on phone to car in front: "Please pull over sir, you're moving your mobile phone illegally."

"Press 8 to be put on hold for what seems like forever...press 9 to phone back tomorrow."

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"