Philosopher-seeker Gifts

'Everything you say subtracts from the sum of human knowledge.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Chiller Theatre

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Oh, crap.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Divine Desk Bins

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'You must heal yourself.'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"