Wisdom Seeker Gifts

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Mom?"

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"If I knew the meaning of life, would I be sitting in a cave in my underpants?"

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'Perhaps I possess the kind of wisdom that only comes with age.'

"I'm not a guru. I'm just hanging out here till my renovation is done."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'Then, once you discover what it is you are searching for, just type it into the search engine.'

'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'

"They say, 'The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one great thing.' Want to hear it?"

"The only problem I have with my belief system is that I always believe it."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"What's the takeaway on all this?"

"To Zoom or not to Zoom. That is the question."

The Wise Man

"...'heighted awareness' is on the next hill"

Wise man reading book called 'One liners for people looking for the meaning of life.'

"The key to making the right decision is knowing which coin to flip."

Confusionism: Why am I here?

"I'll tell you the meaning of life, if you tell me why bond prices drop when interest rates go up."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"I know things Google doesn't."

"Why?"

'If I knew how to get rich quick, would I be sitting on a mountain-top all day?'

"Split it into three to include my consultancy fee"

'You know, it's a lot easier to just follow me on twitter.'

"I think I've acquired some wisdom over the years, but there doesn't seem to be much demand for it."

Bearded old man atop mountain.

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'You know what they say about growing older . . .'