Wisdom Seeking Gifts

Guru on the roller coaster.

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

You've been playing too many video games. I can't give you any "cheats" for the game of life!

'I don't have time to answer individual questions, but you can subscribe to my PODCAST.'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED comb-overs!'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"You want some words of wisdom? Next time, take the elevator!"

A mountain guru has a sign on his mountain for safe social distancing.

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Oh, crap.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

'You must heal yourself.'

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."