Wisdom Seeking Gifts

Guru on the roller coaster.

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

'I don't have time to answer individual questions, but you can subscribe to my PODCAST.'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED comb-overs!'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"You want some words of wisdom? Next time, take the elevator!"

A mountain guru has a sign on his mountain for safe social distancing.

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'You must heal yourself.'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"