Job Seeker Philosopher Gifts

'Do you have one called Job?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Motivation to work

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

How are you at decision making?

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Divine Desk Bins

"I don't like your application."

In and Out Sourced.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'