Job Seeker Philosopher Pillows

'Do you have one called Job?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

Motivation to work

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Between Offices

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I don't like your application."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Divine Desk Bins

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'