Philosophical Seeker Gifts

"You'll find there's no right or wrong here. Just what works for you."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Feel free to take notes."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, crap.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Zenemies.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Needs to get a life"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"