Philosopher-seeker T-Shirts

'Everything you say subtracts from the sum of human knowledge.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Chiller Theatre

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Divine Desk Bins

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'You must heal yourself.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Beyond the known and the unknown.

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"