Philosopher Fish Fan Gifts

'To you, it's half empty. But to me, it's half full!'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Fish snorkling above water.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

Kids with Fish Balloons

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

I told you we were late!

A Preschool of Fish

Chicken soup for the sole.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

'Son, I told you before: If you circle your prey for too long, you get dizzy...'

'Guess who netted it.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'I just know I'm going to get a bite soon.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'