Pet Surgery Recovery Gifts

"Hey, Bro. Still recovering from that neutering op?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Haute Suture

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

En garde!

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'