Pet Shenanigan Analyst Gifts

Cat in Tree.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

Dinosaur Pet Stores

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

Noah's Art Sports Network. Are we all set for the Super Bowl broadcast? I think so. The turtle will handle the pregame show which seems to drag on forever. A zebra will be brought on to analyze close calls referees have to make. The sloth is in charge of slow motion shots. And color will be provided by the chameleon. Thankfully, there's a retractable roof over at the stadium. That's good. The forecast says there's a possibility of a little rain.

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."

'I couldn't sleep last night. . . then I realized I forgot to turn around in a circle three times before I went to bed. . .'

"Do not look at the crumbs—you're so close... If this gets ugly, only use closed paws, no scratching."

“Nightmare on Pine Street...”

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"Big deal! You're still all bums to me."

'Our cat doesn't do any tricks, but he's pretty tricky.'

"Excuse me sir, no pets allowed!"

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

"Looks like someone has been in the garden again."

"What you need to do is, find the biggest squirrel in the yard, walk right up to him and shake the dirty walnuts out of him."

"I've told you not to do that!"

Pushkins was having one of those dog days.

"Do you mind? I don't watch you take a dump, do I?"

'I bet he buried something really big there.'

'I'm not buying Rex anymore rawhide chews - they don't last him five minutes!'

Idiot Dog.