Pet Shenanigan Analyst Pillows

Cat in Tree.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

Dinosaur Pet Stores

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."

“Nightmare on Pine Street...”

'I couldn't sleep last night. . . then I realized I forgot to turn around in a circle three times before I went to bed. . .'

"Do not look at the crumbs—you're so close... If this gets ugly, only use closed paws, no scratching."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"I've told you not to do that!"

"Big deal! You're still all bums to me."

"Excuse me sir, no pets allowed!"

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

"Looks like someone has been in the garden again."

"What you need to do is, find the biggest squirrel in the yard, walk right up to him and shake the dirty walnuts out of him."

'Our cat doesn't do any tricks, but he's pretty tricky.'

Pushkins was having one of those dog days.

"Do you mind? I don't watch you take a dump, do I?"

'I bet he buried something really big there.'

'I'm not buying Rex anymore rawhide chews - they don't last him five minutes!'

Idiot Dog.

'You forgot to put the toilet leg down.'