Pet Behavior Analyst Pillows

"Do not look at the crumbs—you're so close... If this gets ugly, only use closed paws, no scratching."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Pushkins was having one of those dog days.

'Our cat doesn't do any tricks, but he's pretty tricky.'

'You forgot to put the toilet leg down.'

'I'm not buying Rex anymore rawhide chews - they don't last him five minutes!'

'I bet he buried something really big there.'

'I couldn't sleep last night. . . then I realized I forgot to turn around in a circle three times before I went to bed. . .'

"Do you mind? I don't watch you take a dump, do I?"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Why do they do that?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'