Pet Behavior Enthusiast Pillows

"Eddie, you are one hell of a mouse!"

"If dogs had cell phones... Hi, Carl. It’s me again. I know you’re just going out to the mailbox but I was wondering if you’re ever returning. What’s the rush."

'The Pied Piper routine has got to stop.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"I'll take this one."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

Dog Bar with Toilets.

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

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Welcome to pet obedience school. We're going to have fun and get these darlings into shape. Obey-Wan-Ken

'Dad, this is so cool: Next month is a Blue Moon month, with two full moons instead of one!'

Dog History

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"It's mouseborn."