Dog Behavior Aficionado Pillows

"Here's what you do when you're kenneled: find the biggest dog in the joint and kick his #!@*."

"He thinks he's so clever, sucking on breath mints and wearing cologne, but he's not fooling me, I can smell he's still smoking in secret..."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

"I'll take this one."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

Dog Bar with Toilets.

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'Dad, this is so cool: Next month is a Blue Moon month, with two full moons instead of one!'

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

Dog History

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

OMG UR HOT

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

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The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"Now, the last one was not a "mating call", but a "mates call". I agree that they are very similar, but it's important not to mix them up..."