Pet Behavior Aficionado Pillows

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

"I'll take this one."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

Dog Bar with Toilets.

Dog History

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

OMG UR HOT

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'Dad, this is so cool: Next month is a Blue Moon month, with two full moons instead of one!'

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Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

"Is your dog friendly or socially maladjusted?"

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

"Now, the last one was not a "mating call", but a "mates call". I agree that they are very similar, but it's important not to mix them up..."

'Interesting. . . 'While dogs respond to dog whistles, wolverines respond only to cash and traveler's checks.''

"Eddie, you are one hell of a mouse!"