Pet Behavior Analyst Gifts

"Do not look at the crumbs—you're so close... If this gets ugly, only use closed paws, no scratching."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Pushkins was having one of those dog days.

'Our cat doesn't do any tricks, but he's pretty tricky.'

'You forgot to put the toilet leg down.'

'I'm not buying Rex anymore rawhide chews - they don't last him five minutes!'

'I bet he buried something really big there.'

'I couldn't sleep last night. . . then I realized I forgot to turn around in a circle three times before I went to bed. . .'

"Do you mind? I don't watch you take a dump, do I?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"The hyenas started it."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

What does aloof mean?

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'