Dog Behavior Analyst Gifts

"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Why can't you just sit back and relax like other dogs?'

The Snowman and the Snowdog.

Fido's begging days were over.

Dog with long tongue out car window.

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

My Day - Dog magazine

Dog with enormous stick.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.