Dog Behavior Analyst Gifts

"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Why can't you just sit back and relax like other dogs?'

The Snowman and the Snowdog.

Fido's begging days were over.

Dog with long tongue out car window.

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

My Day - Dog magazine

Dog with enormous stick.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

"The hyenas started it."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."