Pet Behaviour Analyst Gifts

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"The hyenas started it."

Bears catching fish

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

What does aloof mean?

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."