Dog Behavior Satirist Gifts

Idiot Dog.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"It's my helper trout!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Dogs texting each other emojis

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"She never took to the leash."

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"My human can't tell which end is which."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

Strikeout Dog

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"You're the first dog I've introduced to my parents. I know they're gonna love you."

"Gas was passed, you get the blame, that's the system."