Pet Care Analyst Gifts

Man about dog: 'We'll be home soon. He's still doing his business.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Dog Walking Services

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Protoplasm

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

'Who's next?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Here, take these... we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

'I must smell more.'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

'Gee, I wonder where he picked up this behavior?'

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'