Pet Dynamics Analysts Gifts

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

Common Core Family Therapy

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

"Nothing personal, I just wanted to see if I still had it."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Parrot annoying dog.

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

Surfer and the Whale

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

'That's what I wanted to ask you about.'

"Is this your work?"

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

Dog with long tongue out car window.

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

Bloody Little Hitler

'Oh look, John, it's Chirpie who's been firing darts at the cat - and all this time we thought it was the children.'

The Snowman and the Snowdog.

'I couldn't sleep last night. . . then I realized I forgot to turn around in a circle three times before I went to bed. . .'

'Harold doesn't have an ego problem. It doesn't bother him that he's inferior to me in every way.'

Dog with enormous stick.

Dog: "Have you noticed? He looks more like me all the time."

"What?!"

'Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.' 'I wish I could but I'm not allowed on the couch.'

You're right! She's mad because we got her a small rodent for her birthday last year, too.