Animal Analysts Gifts

'Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.' 'I wish I could but I'm not allowed on the couch.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Bears catching fish

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

A day at the transgenic races

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

The life of penguins.

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'Hey - It says here, we're related!'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Dolly, Twenty Years Later

"I don't think this is what is meant by Animal Science, but it does take it to a new level!"

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

Ophiologist