Animal Ailment Analyst Gifts

'Just as I feared! It's ringworm! You'll have to give up the kids!'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Bears catching fish

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

The life of penguins.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Hey - It says here, we're related!'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

"I was curious, so I went to the University to listen to a course on Radar techniques..."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'