Animal Anthropologist Gifts

"I think they've transplanted too many human genes into Fred."

"I only sniffed his ass to be polite."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Bears catching fish

'Fidelity is overrated.'

"Well, hello. You're such a cute doggie!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

A caveman paints from life

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Physician tending a mummy.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'Yes, all at once!'

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

Evolution Exam Results.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

A day at the transgenic races

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Those Were The Days

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'