Animal Anthropologist T-Shirts

"I think they've transplanted too many human genes into Fred."

"I only sniffed his ass to be polite."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Zoo Psychological Center. We had a good group session today. The cougar talked about her trouble having a romantic relationship with someone her own age. The wolf opened up about wearing sheep's clothing. And we all assured the newt that an identity crisis is common among amphibians. The gorilla is having a tough day so he's staying for an individual session. There's nothing wrong with you ... a lot of people tend to ignore 800-pound gorillas.

Bears catching fish

'Fidelity is overrated.'

"Well, hello. You're such a cute doggie!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

A caveman paints from life

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Physician tending a mummy.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'Yes, all at once!'

Evolution Exam Results.

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

A day at the transgenic races

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Those Were The Days

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'