Pet Dynamics Analysts T-Shirts

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Nothing personal, I just wanted to see if I still had it."

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

Parrot annoying dog.

Surfer and the Whale

'That's what I wanted to ask you about.'

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

"Is this your work?"

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

'Oh look, John, it's Chirpie who's been firing darts at the cat - and all this time we thought it was the children.'

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

Dog with long tongue out car window.

'Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.' 'I wish I could but I'm not allowed on the couch.'

'I couldn't sleep last night. . . then I realized I forgot to turn around in a circle three times before I went to bed. . .'

"Do not look at the crumbs—you're so close... If this gets ugly, only use closed paws, no scratching."

"What?!"

Dog with enormous stick.

Dog: "Have you noticed? He looks more like me all the time."

The Snowman and the Snowdog.

'Harold doesn't have an ego problem. It doesn't bother him that he's inferior to me in every way.'