Pet Care Analyst T-Shirts

Man about dog: 'We'll be home soon. He's still doing his business.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Dog Walking Services

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Protoplasm

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

'Who's next?'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Here, take these... we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

'I must smell more.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

'Gee, I wonder where he picked up this behavior?'

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'