Pet Ownership Humor Fan Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: toothbrush.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Cat and mouse.

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Cat at Surprise Party.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

Dog Calenders.

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'I hate surprises!'

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'