Pet Ownership Humor Fan Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: toothbrush.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Cat at Surprise Party.

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."