Pet Lover With A Dark Side Gifts

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Gym Dog

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

Teacher's pet dog

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"He ran out of pee."

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

'Beware of SUV.'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

Houdini's Dog

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

'The homework ate my dog.'

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

"I promised him he could have a pet."

'How to make money in the stock market.'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

Beware of the dog.