Dog Lover With A Dark Sense Of Humor Gifts

"Look, no-one's questioning you loyalty, Pendergrass. But, times are tough so, I'm having you put down."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Pin the blame on the donkey.

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"Wow, what a DILF."

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

Gym Dog

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Teacher's pet dog

"He ran out of pee."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'Beware of SUV.'

Houdini's Dog

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

A skinny dog with clown make up

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

'It's her signature dish.'

"Tonight... Hemingway."

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

"I promised him he could have a pet."

Beware of the dog.

'The homework ate my dog.'

'How to make money in the stock market.'