Dog Lover With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'I know how you feel.'

'You'll be on a leash for the first six months.'

It soon became obvious to all in the theatre that Doug's Bach was worse than his bite.

"And finally after you've read the will, laugh out loud and say I changed my mind and it's all been given to the dog."

"To be environmentally responsible I only chase electric cars."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'Shocked? You should be! After all those years of toil and loyal sacrifice, that's your net worth! Wake up, Fido! On Lesson Three, we'll offer tips on planning your financial future!'

'Is there an app for marking your territory?'

'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is this the face of a good dog? No! This is the face of a bad dog! Bad! Bad dog!!'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

"Football is one long game of fetch."

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

'Do we have an exit strategy?'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'I'm staying out of Mr. Romney's view - all dogs should.'

'Don't worry, I'm just marking my territory.'

'You can't polish a turd, but you can give it a little touch of gold spray paint.'

Political Poll results are in... 'None of the above' was the overwhelming favourite.

Puppy Turds (just 50 cents! Wow!)

'Every time I stop to smell the roses, I find that some jerk's dog has been there first.'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

The best way to get even with your enemies is to BE HAPPY. It's the last thing they want.

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Dog in pet shop beats the competition by hold a sign saying 'Has Fleas'.

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

"Et tu, Muffy? Et tu?"

"Wow, what a DILF."

A hunter has a dream that his dog has brought a game warden to punish him.

"Every applicant undergoes a rigorous background check and a thorough sniffing from Humphrey."

"Pro tip-- use GPS maps, they remember all the places you dig."

"Dumb dog! When I said 'kill' I was speaking metaphorically!"

If Cujo had been a chihuahua

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"The skin on the organic chicken was thick and greasy, so I got rid of it."

"Sorry, boy. You’re dead to me now."