Dog Enthusiast With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

I'm in a hurry. Got any "Sorry I crapped on your carpet" cards?

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Pin the blame on the donkey.

"Wow, what a DILF."

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"He ran out of pee."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

A skinny dog with clown make up

"Bad dog!"

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

"I have to tell you you were not my first choice for this job."

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Pet shop with recipes stand outside.

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'It's her signature dish.'

'I know how you feel.'