Pet Judiciary Humorist Gifts

Criminal Court; Juvenile Court; Domestic Court; Dog/cat Court

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Cats at private view

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

Clown walks balloon dog

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"