Trapped in the worst blind date of his life, John Glynn tries to chew his arm off at the shoulder.
Perpetual Dater Gifts
Looking for something special for your perpetual dater friend or partner? Our collection of playful and clever products captures the spirit of someone who's always on a new romantic adventure. From charming mugs to fun t-shirts, cozy pillows to vibrant art prints, each item is designed to bring a smile to their face while celebrating their endless pursuit of love and new experiences. Perfect for birthdays, milestones, or just because—these gifts add humor and heart to their ongoing journey.
"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"
"She's in a conversationally induced coma."
"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."
'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'
Online Dating
'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'
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Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...
'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'
"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"
"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."
'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'
"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."
"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."
'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'
'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'
"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."
"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"
"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."
Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...
We met online.
"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"
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'Let's do lunch.'
"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"
'That must be my computer date.'
"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."
"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."
'We met online.'
Friday night was always sext night.
"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."
Online Romance
I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.
"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."
Perpetual Dater Gifts Collection
Perpetual Dater Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs designed for perpetual daters—perfect for starting each day with a laugh and a reminder of their romantic journey.
Perpetual Dater Pillows
Find cozy pillows that add humor and personality to any space, perfect for the perpetual dater who loves to surround themselves with positivity.
Perpetual Dater Prints
Brighten up their room with prints that humorously celebrate their ongoing quest for love—ideal for any space that needs a touch of wit.
Perpetual Dater T-Shirts
Discover fun and witty t-shirts that celebrate the perpetual daters’ adventurous love life—great for casual outings or making a bold statement.