Serial Dater Gifts

The Story of Oh

"Remember that hurricane a thousand miles away? That was me!"

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Of all the women I've ever loved, Debbie, you're the most recent."

"I wasn't completely honest in my on line dating profile, so you can stop calling me 'Your Majesty'."

'Todd, that was the fourth girl named Rachael you broke up with. Stop this Rachael profiling.'

"He was a lousy date!"

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

'You certainly are a lady-killer - I'm almost starved to death!'

'This time it's true love for sure If not with Bill, then with Tom, or perhaps, Phil.'

You're different from any girl I've met online and asked out for a coffee.

'Don't be too sad. Sure, she was special, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.'

"No husband. No boyfriends. It's been so damn long, I'm reverting to virginity."

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"What already?! My profile clearly said I was the outdoorsy type."

"There is one who doesn't hide what he is looking for!"

"Yes, I realize we hardly know each other, that in many ways, we're still strangers... but don't you see? That's the ingredient which was missing in all of my previous marriages!"

"We both know it won't work, Sylvia. Oh, things will be great for a week or two, but the day will come when you realize you're tangled up, once again, wiht another boyfriend from Hell."

"I need a man who will commit."

"This can't happen ever again, Roy. Not unless my boyfriend goes to Nashville next week."

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

"If you like I can set you up with a bullet I dodged."

"I honestly don't know what you're waiting for. By the time I was your age, I'd been married twice."

"Do you reject guys like me here often?"

"He's just the guy I'm using to get over the last guy I dated to get over my first dog."

Oh, man. I can feel the burn. You look fine. What's the problem? It's been 24 hours since I last hit on a fine gal, contemplated doing so, sent an email to an ex, or read Maxim. The first 24 hours of my annual cleansing process are the hardest. I crave the sweet connection of a lady friend. But I can fight through a week without. Oh, stop it! Try fighting through a decade without!

I'm looking for something for the man who has everything, and then I'd like his name and phone number.

"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"

'They couldn't exactly get me a date, but they offered me a job as a practice dummy.'

'I can have any woman I please -- I just can't seem to please any!'

He showed up late on their first date, after being caught in an avalanche, and it quickly went downhill from there.

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"We went out once. He's a real domain name-dropper."