Divine Dater Gifts

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'We've re-branded.'

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Waterfall of Disappointment

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

We met online.

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'That must be my computer date.'

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

'We met online.'

Friday night was always sext night.

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Cyber Love

"I need a man who will commit."

Online Romance

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."